“This is the last twilight movie” robert pattinson whispers. he lifts his face towards the sky and raises his arms. He begins to float, over the buildings, through the clouds. He floats out of range of earth’s gravitational pull and begins to spin through the stars. he is free
THIS IS THE CUTEST!!!
most of my google searches sound like a confused, gentle giant learning about how the world is cruel
actual google search: how to face peeling help wont stop
I was looking through all of my old documents on my computer and i stumbled across a really long one with 25 pages and i read the wHOLE THING and when i got to the very end
i saw this
so i got excited and looked underneath my mattress but instead i found this
i pride myself on being able to read nc-17 pornography with a completely straight face in the middle of a crowded room, but you give me one cute line and my face starts spasming, not even SMILING, but like a tiny man is standing inside my mouth punching my cheeks with his tiny man hands.
I just love thar Tumblr’s problem with 50 Shades of Grey isn’t “my goodness, it’s so pornographic!” but instead “oh my god this is the worst written porn I’ve ever read am I allowed to send this author some choice livejournal entries so she can improve her style”
“it’s them” the home depot employees whisper as the hipster bloggers grab paint swatches to write inspirational quotes on
The Avengers movie, in a nutshell.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.