I don’t know what to do with my feelings.

It’s only recently that I realized that I have special feelings for a boy. Like I literally light up or feel at ease when I see him and I always used to think it was because he was a really awesome friend. But no. It was like like and I had been in intense denial for years. I don’t even know. I finally admitted to myself that I liked him and, gah, what a distraction he has been for these last weeks. Every tiny thing he does sends me on haywire and I literally have to stop myself from smiling excessively when I speak to him. He quietly crawled into my mind and he won’t leave.

I srsly do not know what to do with these feelings. I think they’ll just grow and multiply if I don’t do something. GAH I want to get rejected already so I can go back to feeling non-special feelings for him. Does that even work? Ha.

Just leave me here to die with my feelings.